  
So sign up today to have your FREE credit report delivered INSTANTLY online and be automatically entered into our $79.95 FRAUDULANT BILLING SERVICE***********™! We know what you're thinking, it sounds too good to be true! Well, we're convinced it is. Once you've tried the CreditCheck Monitoring Service on a FREE trial basis - that's included with your FREE credit report - you'll unknowingly be forced to continue with this vital service indefinitely without notification************! This no obligation and no commitment service will be yours forever, and you'll be surprised to find that our occasional $79.95 fee shows up in your credit card statements for services you never wanted, never asked for, and never received*************! In fact, we're so confident in our service that we're signing people up all on our own. Some people just clicked into our website, and started getting billed. Others can't remember ever having heard of or visited our site in the first place**************, but that's no reason they shouldn't get our FREE credit report and FREE $79.95 charge on their credit cards! We are a respected organization, known worldwide for our quality customer service and friendly attitude. We have been heralded by the Better Business Bureau, saying, "We rate this company as having an unsatisfactory business performance record based on a pattern of unanswered customer complaints alleging unauthorized credit card charges." (read our report here)***************. We are also good friends with the Federal Trade Commission, and are proud to report that we are one of the most reported companies in the United States for consumer fraud****************.
* 'account' may represent any relationship with our company, including those we made up. ** 'free' is a word representing our freedom to steal your money, and should not be construed as 'free of charge'. *** 'seconds' should not imply a short amount of time. We may, in fact, charge you for 'services' several years after we make up your account. **** 'free' in this context simply means that you are free of your money. ***** we don't really limit ourselves to credit cards, we'll steal the $79.95 from whatever kind of card we can attach the charges to. Credit, debit, whatever. ****** your MonkeyFax credit report will not be delivered instantly. In fact, in most cases, it will never be delivered at all. Hey, your loss. We reserve the right to never provide the promised service and bill you for imaginary ones. ******* 'instant' should not be construed to mean instant. ******** 'CreditFraud Monitoring Service' is just something we made up. It doesn't do anything for you, but we'll start billing you for it as soon as we possibly can. ********* there is no obligation that any services be provided to you. There is no obligation that you intentionally pay us, we'll take care of that for you. ********** you do not have to sign up for a free credit report for us to create an account for you, never mention it, and then charge you $79.95 for it. *********** our trademarked Fraudulant Billing System is erratic, illogical, and probably illegal. ************ there is no way out. We get to bill you for all eternity. No obligation! ************* there is an off chance that you will receive a service from us. We reserve the right to bill you either way. ************** we reserve the right to just create accounts for random people. Doesn't matter if they ever signed up. *************** this is the actual Better Business Bureau report for the company that spawned this parody website. **************** I just made this up, but hey it wouldn't surprise me.
I will not link to the actual site, they are a fraudulant company who did, in fact, steal $79.95 from me Read consumer complaints about this company (the real one) from the Rip Off Report Parody Copyright (c) 2003, |
