|Famous German Talking Flying Bunnies
German Talking Flying Bunnies are responsible for much of pop culture and history in the United States and abroad. Here are some of the more famous GTFBs.
GTFB poet from Switzerland whose poetry is translated from German to English and typically become
Elton John lyrics. He is most well-known for the original "Candle in the Wind" and "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On
Me". His work also includes several Matchbox Twenty lyrics.
Canadian GTFB who accidentally
created water for the first time in the history of the planet Earth by mixing pencil lead with air and lighting it
on fire. He conceptualized oceans and built them with three small shovels and two of his frat buddies.
Bavarian GTFB responsible for the 1979 invention of e-mail, working in conjunction with Al Gore
and his invention of the Internet.
GTFB from western Russia responsible for creating the worlds
first novel, first cheeze wheel, and first television newscast.
Contrary to popular belief, the
original Easter Bunny (1930-1948) was in fact a German Talking Flying Bunny named Gunter. This is the story of the
original Easter Bunny:
In the 40's, the German people virtually worshipped the German Talking Flying Bunnies. There was one in
every household, and they were used as oracles - People would ask them questions, and mindlessly follow the response
that the bunny would give. Well, eventually (around 1942), the German people realized their stupidity and set their
talking bunnies free.
Well, needless to say the bunnies were not happy. Upon their release, they all bit their
former owners. There was one exception, the Christian Bunny - his name was Gunter. He decided that biting was
too vicious, so he gathered up some chicken eggs and began to throw them at his owners.
On the Easter of that year, the bunnies collectively stopped their attack as a goodwill gesture. However, once
again, Gunter was the exception. He continued his egg throwing. This is the reason why we celebrate Easter with
bunnies and eggs.
Now, you may be wondering why we often get money and candy and such in our eggs at Easter time. Well, there is a
simple reason - In 1942 Germany, there were some very odd chickens. These chickens, in their spare time, would
eat spare change and wrapped candy. These items, rather than be digested, appeared in the eggs.
Of Historical Note: Gunter died in a freak boating accident in 1948 just outside of Cleveland.
Cantonese GTFB with an amazing script-writing and directorial talent. This bunny was purchased by a major hollywood
film corporation and currently writes under several assumed names. Jimminy is most well-known for his work on
various Spielberg films such as Jurassic Park.
Mysterious GTFB who is often seen hovering over the
United States Capitol Building in Washington, DC and at Chicago Bulls games. Rumors are abound about Mike's history
and reasons for his behavior, but little is really known about him. He has a birthmark on his left wing that looks
like a Ford Taurus.
GTFB from Berlin who created chickens in his basement in 1923. He built the
University of Berlin out of sticks and alarm clocks, and is still the director of the Department of Chicken Creation
and Spoons at UB. He has been seen driving an AMC Pacer.
Austrian GTFB who invented standards
in 1952. Credited with "standard measurements", "standard deviations", "standardized tests", and "American Standard
Working under the pseudonym "Alexander Graham Bell", Voluped invented telephones,
modems, brillo pads, and the color green while working from his Bonn workshop. He drew pictures of staplers in his
notebook and was known as being a big fan of cash registers.